In the Waning Crescent

Journal page: 11 November 2025

Rainy, cloudy, foggy afternoon.

I knew I had to slow down.

And I did. For the most part.

Allowing myself to rest is a sacred validation of self-love.

But there are some old, limiting beliefs that still hold me back and create a block. Maybe I should work really hard to make the book happen, even though it strains my energy more than an inspiration should. Juggling with the absence of the muse to write and maintain consistency here has already been real pain. A kind of pain hasn't borne me any fruits of success, but I still endure it day in and day out.

Unfinished business, books half read, and broken promises are stationery on my desk. Things seem to slow down, stagnant, but anxiety hasn't come knocking on my door. This proves the inner shift—I surrender to the energy of the waning moon.

Relax and release. Let go.

There's no point in dreaming it, but don't attain it. Making the tea and don't drink it.

But what is it that's still in my way? Why still hoarding, and wanting to do more?

My brain keeps feeding stories that feel true. I know they're told from emotional residue and past wounds, the cognitive bias. Stories like, "This ain't gonna fly, and I shouldn't waste my time trying".

So—I avoid the real work—writing.

But I know that what I avoid will control me.

And I know that avoidance feels like relief now, but it won't stay for long.

And I know that every time I dodge the discomfort, I strengthen fear, procrastination, shame, and other destructive villains that are lurking in my shadow.

I am not who I think I am.

I am not who I think I am.

Again. I am not who I think I am.

Practice being, because identity isn't fixed. It's a feedback loop of habits, beliefs, and repeated stories. You shape who you are by what you do over and over, not what you wish you did and who you wish you were.

Be conscious of the options you hoard, Kwan, or your action (and inaction) will be guided by the illusion you feed yourself.

Take a step back, evaluate life from a point of rest, and complete surrender. Prioritize and focus on what truly matters, you don't need to have it all—and perfect.

The 'pursuit of perfection' days are gone.

Don't let old fog dim your light.