168.2.1 | 2023_WK38 Are Forgetting Ourselves?
Hello there, hoping life treats you kindly.
If you noticed the missing newsletter email last week, my deep apologies.
It has been two weeks time of assisting others' needs first, and I'm not quite sure why.
It got me thinking about how easily we can neglect or overlook ourselves, possibly in favor of focusing on something or someone else. Sure, there may be times when external distractions or priorities take precedence over our own needs and self-care, and we forget to pay attention to how we feel.
I'm always happy to extend my helping hand, to provide comfort for friends and family when there's a need, and to share my genuine opinion and advice. Most of the time, I feel valued and appreciated (and at times; used) for the reason that somehow in that willingness to help, I can always find something useful or comforting assurance about my own values, purpose, and lessons.
The problem is, sometimes I just forget that I too, have my things; my priorities, my focus work, and my needs.
I forgot about me.
The above picture quote from Nietzsche reminds me to stop and look inside. What is the hard emotion that bothered me? I should feel good but why didn't I? Is it true that loneliness is one possibility? Came the beginning of a self-reflection process.
Investigated further, I saw a formation of emotional inner conflict built up inside of me. I wanted to help people out but I forgot me, I forgot to help me out. I was stressed that I didn't finish anything I drafted, I didn't send out the newsletter, and I didn't touch the book I was supposed to finish reading a month ago.
I didn't do what I intended to do.
My intention didn't align with my actions. And I made it worse by saying "That's OK" when really, it was not.
What deterred my action from my intention? What needs was I trying to meet?
When I am in a dark state like this, I think of the wisdom from a few of my go-to thinkers (gurus); Jean-Paul Sartre, Carl Rogers, and Freud, but two of the darkest in this theme of psychological turmoil, I would give it to Dostoevsky and Kafka.
In this essay, I laid out some of the basic concepts of what distress we can experience simply because of the misalignment between intention, action, and speech. And guess where does this come from?
Our lack of self-awareness. I was disconnected from my Self.
This means I forgot me. *notice that the word 'about' has been taken off.
When we forget ourselves, it delves more directly into whether or not we're losing sight of our own identity, values, or needs; the disconnection from our Self. This is more of an introspective statement, focusing on personal identity rather than external influences.
This brings us to another example of how unaware we can be about who we are in the world of perpetual busyness of life. By busyness of life, I mean, the things and activities we do keep ourselves busy. We let circumstances overwhelm us with our time and how we live our lives. We define ourselves as what we do for work, we forget to consciously see who we are, what we need, and how we feel– inside.
It won't take long until we find ourselves trapped in this vacuum– the emptiness of our existence, when we are unable to see inside ourselves. Pay attention to our thoughts, feelings, and values. Don't run away.
Don't forget to look inwardly, be with your thoughts, and reflect on them. This is how we maintain the connection with the Self.
And in there you will find your Hero.
2 quotes that resonate with the vibes of the week
"When everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the light." – Rumi.
"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
1 self-reminder to meditate on
Be intentional, be kind, and say no.
This may be the best productivity tool I've ever utilized.
168.2.1 was my first attempt to send out a weekly newsletter. It lasted eleven weeks. It was hard, too ambitious a goal, but it taught me to love myself through missteps and the adversity of perseverance.
